An Analogy of Teabaggers' Approach to Any Social Program

"Captain!  We've found a stow away!"
"That does it!  Burn all the lifeboats and sink the ship!"

News from the Bat Shit Crazy Club

It would be funnier if it weren't true. 

Tax Graphic

Situation:

A "Christian Bible Camp" passenger van is driving south on Preston St. 

Just after passing Broadway a smallish 90's American "luxury" car driven by an elderly man with wife next to him pulls out too close in front of the van. 

The van's driver has to apply the brakes. 

 Preston right here is very wide and two lanes in one direction. 

 What did the "Christian" do?

A. Calmly change lanes after slowing to avoid the offending vehicle.
B. Honk his horn once and then change lanes and pass the offending vehicle.
C. Hold down the horn and tailgate the slowly accelerating older couple's car for at least two blocks.

Additional information: The van was packed full of young children.

A Little Argument for Changing the Filibuster Rules in the Senate

"From 1949 (when Senate rules were changed to provide for cloture on nominations) through 2008, cloture votes were forced on only 20 executive branch nominations. However, in just the first four and a half years of the Obama administration, there have already been 16 such cloture votes...That's an increase of more than 1,000% in the rate of forced cloture votes on nominations - 20 nominations on which cloture votes were forced in sixty years compared to 16 in just four and a half.  Republicans are on pace to force 28 cloture votes by the end of the Obama administration - more than under all previous presidents combined." via

Griffy on Conspiracy "Theorists"

Though this is an oversimplification (I think many believers are intelligent but confused or crazy) it still would be nice if there were fewer people completely out of touch with reality.

Rand Paul Skips Briefing on NSA Activities So I Write Him a Letter

Mr. Paul,

So you can shout loudly about how offended you are by the NSA's activities but you know so much you can't be bothered to stay for an extensive briefing on the subject?  You are a disgrace to the Senate and to this nation.  http://thehill.com/homenews/senate/305765-senators-skip-classified-briefing-on-nsa-snooping-to-catch-flights-home

Sincerely,
Alan Miller

More Unbelievable Spam - Who Responds to this BS?

(Got this one twice)


Winning Notification 2013©

THE LOTTERY DEPARTMENT BMW

Automobiles

22 Garden Close, Stamford,

Lincs, PE9 2YP, London

United Kingdom

 

Dear Winner,

 

This is to inform you that you have been selected as a winner for a cash prize of ?450,000.00 (four hundred and fifty thousand Great British Pounds) and a brand new BMW 5 Series Car from International programs held on the 28th of May 2013 in London Uk.

 

Description of prize vehicle;

Model: 530iA

Color (exterior): Metallic Silver

Mileage: 5

Transmission: Automatic 6 Speed

 

Options: Cold weather package, premium package, fold down rear seats w/ski bag, am fm stereo with single in dash compact disc player .

 

The selection process was carried out through random selection in our computerized email selection ballot system from a database of over 250,000 email addresses drawn from all the continents of the world which yours and nine others were selected as the winners.

 

The BMW Lottery is approved by the British Gaming Board and also Licensed by the The International Association of Gaming Regulators (IAGR). This promotional lottery is the 3rd of its kind and we intend to sensitize the public.

 

To begin the processing of your prize you are to contact our fiduaciary claims department for more infomation as regards procedures to claim your prize.

 

================================================================

BMW LOTTERY DEPARTMENT UK

7 DOCK WAY, SEFTON BUSINESS PARK

LONDON, T40 4RT

United Kingdom

ANDREW WONG

Email: andreww56@yahoo.com.hk

================================================================

 

Contact him by please providing him with your secret pin code X7PWYZ2005 and your Reference Number BMW:2551256003/23. You are also advised to provide him with the under listed informations as soon as possible:

 

1. Name (in full):

2. Address:

3. Nationality:

4. Age:

5. Occupation:

6. Phone/Fax:

7. Country of Residence:

8. Short comment on your occupation. [optional]:

9. Fax [optional]:

10. Email address:

11. Annual income:

==================================================================

Please you are to provide him with the above listed details as soon as possible so he can begin with the processing of your prize winnings.

 

Congratulations again from all our staff and thank you for being part of our promotional program.

 

Mr. Norbert Benard

THE DIRECTOR PROMOTIONS

BMW LOTTERY DEPARTMENT

UNITED KINGDOM

Subject: OFFICIAL LETTER FROM MICHEAL DRIVER.

KINDLY VIEW ATTACHED LETTER AND GET BACK TO ME.

Sir,

I am Mr.Micheal Driver board of members and executives in American Libyan
chamber of commerce and industry.(ALCCI) but secretly working hand to hand
with the late son of late President Muammar Gaddafi of Libya. My full
profile stated to you here is for your confirmation before showing
interest for your record purposes and of whom you are about dealing with.
(http://www.alcci.org/board-and-executives)

Both of us shared a Private account where I do move funds around for him
with some security company's in Asia continent of his choice. Some of
different fund amounting to the worth of $110.500, 000. (One hundred and
Ten Million Five Hundred thousand US Dollars) for investment without any
beneficiary or identification of the principal was pended in different
security Institution waiting for claim.

Sir, because of my serious health condition of Leukemia and some security
reason around me, I cannot be able to move around to move the fund for an
investment, I decided to ask for your assistance for the claim of the fund
since one of the institution where an amount of 10m.dollars was deposited
has asked me to provide for a beneficiary for the fund before they will
get it confiscated without no trace.

If you can assist me in this transaction by receiving the badge
10m.dollars as the beneficiary, I will compensate you with 30% of the
total amount and you will also get benefit from the investment.

More details will be sending to you when I receive your interest response.

Please for the good interest of this transaction to go well, you are
advised to keep it highly confidential as It remains risk free.

Thanks and best regards,

Micheal Driver

Asshole of the Day

A Bunch of Links and Wisdom from @AlanEvil

Just in case you're not following Alan on Twitter here's some highlights of things you should read (or simply hysterical thoughts from) the last week:

REPORT: Swept Up In "Scandal," Network Sunday Shows Drop Coverage Of Economy http://mm4a.org/1bowg2N

It is OK to call Laura Ingraham a stupid fucking cunt, right? http://mm4a.org/11sOZ7D 

Self delusion isn't just a river in Egypt anymore... or something: Straight from the moron files. http://livewire.talkingpointsmemo.com/entry/unskewed-polls-founder-i-was-only-wrong-because … 


It appears not everyone in North Carolina is batshit crazy. http://livewire.talkingpointsmemo.com/entry/60-arrested-in-latest-protest-against-gop-policy …

Sen. Collins: I Was Never Briefed On PRISM http://livewire.talkingpointsmemo.com/entry/ranking-sen-says-she-was-never-briefed-on …  

Cartoonists see more clearly. What a curse. http://derfcity.com/newstuff/newtoon.html … pic.twitter.com/eIYIk3v2WV 

When you say "terrorist acts" doesn't that mean it's terrorism? I just don't get this wingnut linguistic confusion.

@billmaher 's piece on Reagan was fucking awesome. Hopefully that will show up on YouTube so I can send it to certain people. 

@LOLGOP Congrats on leading in Michigan Senate race!

I'm getting the feeling that right wing trolls like to bombard opponents with insults and then block them so they can't reply. Is that fun? 

@Cookiemuffen @mmfa HAHA! And you're obviously a Very Important Person. Gotchya. People "off the grid" defending Fox News always are. 

Liberty v Safety? I think we may have given up way too much for too little. SMBC - June 10, 2013 http://www.smbc-comics.com/?id=3005 

@ChelseaVPeretti @brendonwalsh @chrisdelia Have a drink before you drive. Less ALL CAPS that way.

I wonder what (GOP) is keeping us from making welfare have no cutoff points (GOP)?

Got blocked by a Faux Noise moron after over a dozen ad hominem and abusive attacks I didn't answer. Way to go, dick.

@mmfa And as Fox does backflips telling its legion of morons Obama ordered the IRS investigations there's this: http://bit.ly/13qbpce 

The GOP in action! RT Fed index ranks Wisconsin 49th in economic outlook http://fb.me/2DU7Askw6  

Yeah, I think I subscribe to one of those: Toothpaste For Dinner: least popular podcasts http://www.toothpastefordinner.com/060913/ 

Don't forget: Guns make you safer. Right? http://nbcnews.to/1bf6mOT 

TX jury says it's ok to shoot a woman if she won't have sex. We've got to fix this #StopViolence http://act.weareultraviolet.org/sign/texas_woman_shot?referring_akid=.545819.wu6KgY&source=twitter … 

Why Homeless People Don't Use Shelters http://www.squidoo.com/why_homeless_people_avoid_shelters … 

What a maroon. RT Rush Limbaugh: "We are in the midst of a coup taking place" http://mm4a.org/114siaQ 

Ricin doesn't kill people, gun nuts sending it through the mail kill people... with it.

So horrible. I love you so much comic blasphemy! "Caring For Your New Puppy" http://www.comicblasphemy.com/comics/2013-06-06.jpg … 

@peterbakernyt @nytimes "It would embarass us and you would hate us if you knew so it's secret." Nothing new with this admin, just more. 

@fakedansavage a) find picture of shocked Richard Nixon, b) create meme: "Fags eat what?"

Facism, it's here, it's now, it spreads like a disease... pic.twitter.com/doNJQNR5Uj 

@hodgman @travismcelroy I will be making puppets and causing them to speak the seven words that break the boundaries between earth and hell.

@habitual_grump @mmfa I don't think it is unfair to scrutinize"Taxed Enough Already."aand the one application denied? http://bit.ly/ZTJuVp 

@habitual_grump @mmfa They called themselves Teabaggers to begin with. And yes, I have utter contempt for those morons. 

Here's what happens when you turn things over to "The Market": http://bit.ly/1bafQLj  (and yes, we're getting there, thanks to capitalism).

@TheTweetOfGod I can remember when God just spoke to me. Now he tweets at me. What's next? Facebook friend poking me?

@marcmaron Rules fuck dogma grammar is.

@baldwin100 @mmfa Why does anyone question the decision to grill the fuck out of groups whose raison d'etre is hating taxes?

@habitual_grump @mmfa This IRS BS is not a scandal. The Teabaggers deserved close scrutiny. You want a real scandal? http://bit.ly/16L89yo 

That sound? Conservatives' heads exploding, even though they're usually really good at cognitive dissonance. http://thinkprogress.org/health/2012/10/05/966121/obamacare-birth-control-abortion/ … 

@baldwin100 @mmfa Are you aware that more progressive and liberal groups applying for 501(c)(4) status were targeted? F* the teabaggers IMHO

When the truth just doesn't do it for you: FOX NOISE. http://mm4a.org/12twfMA 

Remember: guns keep you safe. http://livewire.talkingpointsmemo.com/entry/13-year-old-texas-girl-shot-killed-while … via @tomkludt 

@NextNewDeal @LOLGOP @NickBaumann It's because the criminal rich are always finding better ways to steal our wealth at every point in life.

Health care, student loans, credit cards, payday loans: It's how the criminal rich steal our wealth. They write the laws, not us.

Boy, talk about a lesson in how f*ed up this Congress is: http://on.cc.com/14rcaRu  via @ColbertReport 

 

"Thank 'God'" - Tom Tomorrow

The assumption by the Main Stream Press of the goodness of Believers as well as the assumption that the exception in a disaster is somehow the sign of a beneficent deity has always bothered me.   What kind of asshole thinks they're extra special pets of their master in the sky because they didn't die and everyone around them did?  How can you worship a monster that destroys elementary schools but saves your sorry adult ass?  What kind of cunt deity wipes out an entire city but blesses one lady by saving her dog or one woman by not killing her child while killing dozens of other people's children?  Believers are full of shit and the news media that panders to them is as well.

Married to the Sea - Goddamned Government

 

My dad is a life long hunter and I've hunted a bit as well.  My shotgun is a full choke 20 gauge single shot shotgun.  We also have a 20 gauge pump that holds three shells and my dad prefers a double barrel 12 gauge.  As far as rifles go we only had a single shot .22 because we only ever used it for "varmints" or to pepper unwelcome dogs with so called rat shot which is pretty much a little tiny shotgun shell for a little bitty rifle.  My brother has a bolt action 30.06 sniper rifle from WWII that he has for deer and I think it might hold six rounds.  There really is not a good reason for anyone to have the kinds of gigantic magazines the NRA is so desperate to defend, unless you consider murdering as many people as possible as quickly as is possible a "good reason."  Guns are not toys and should never be treated as toys.  The only other reason for extended magazines would be for people that treat their firearms as toys to have fun with.  In my opinion there is no good reason for extended magazines.

Tom the Dancing Bug - "Nixonian"

Tea Party Butt Hurt - Matt Bors

Seriously, your entire rhetoric and even your fucking name is based on your hatred of paying taxes and you get upset that you get extra scrutiny from the taxman?  Idiots.

This is the scandal that simply isn't a scandal.  There may have been some clumsiness and bumbling at the bottom but trying to make this out as if it were ordered by that Kenyan Muslim in the White House is silly.

Drunk on Power - Clay Bennett

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