The Lou Dobbs Problem

The main thing that I learned about conspiracy theory is that conspiracy theorists actually believe in a conspiracy because that is more comforting. The truth of the world is that it is chaotic. The truth is, that it is not the Jewish banking conspiracy or the grey aliens or the 12 foot reptiloids from another dimension that are in control. The truth is more frightening, nobody is in control. The world is rudderless.

- “The Mindscape of Alan Moore” (2003) via uncertain times

"Makin' Things Up"

One can only hope that Sarah Palin will now either vanish into momhood, go to prison, or get a talkshow on Fox Noise. Either way I will rarely have to listen to the vapid, blithering idiot whereas if she runs for national office I'll be forced to pay attention to her. Next to her George W. Bush sounds like an intellectual. I'm not sure how anyone can stand up before an audience and just make word-like noises like she does and not be ashamed. Then again, shame is a virtue rarely seen amongst Republicans.

Rambling

A few hours ago Sarah Palin announced she was resigning as Governor of Alaska. Since then it appears the mass media has decided to adopt the word "rambling" to describe her speech. Might I offer some other words? How about:

Babbling, whining. petulant, adolescent, confusing, paranoid, and/or incredibly long.

She is such a Republican, just spouting shit off the top of her head as if it were absolute fact. She has decided that her husband wasn't a member of a secessionist party so by god he wasn't... despite the fact that he was an active member of said party for seven years. Drilling for oil is a good thing because of her religious beliefs. Blather blather blather. But facts don't matter to Republicans. She mentions near the end of the first half (gods help us this speech went on longer than Governor Sanford's seemingly endless original apology for fucking around on his wife) that she and her oddly named husband are spending nearly a million dollars fighting lawsuits of some kind and that the other people "don't have to pay a dime." Since when can you go to court for free? Anyway, here is her speech in two halves. I listened and have been reaffirmed in my joy that this stupid bitch isn't the Vice President right now. If you can watch this whole thing... I'm sorry. It was excruciating to watch this stupid woman vomit nonsense for twenty minutes.

Bat Shit Crazy Idiot and Liar

She repeatedly says, "We know..." but everything she says we know is false. Is she a liar or an idiot? I'm gonna say she's both liar and an idiot, mixed with a giant dose of bat shit crazy.

Unless she says or does something really amazingly wacky,* as opposed to her normal bat shit craziness, I'm going to leave Madam Bachmann to some people who are really serious about her. I thought I'd leave you with the "Michele Bachmann Year In Review" video and link you to an entire blog of her videos here:

*Anybody want to start a pool on how long 'til she says or does something else bat shit crazy?

Great Moments in Presidential Speeches Montage

At long last the nightmare is coming to an end. This montage from The Late Show with David Letterman is uncomfortably long, and it's just a quick sampler of Shrub being the bumbling idiot he is. Good riddance to bad garbage.