High Fructose Corn Syrup Loved By Cancer Cells

A recent study has found that pancreatic cancer cells metabolize fructose (the cheap, corn based sweetener found in just about every refined American food) more easily than sucrose disproving the "all sugars are the same" claims of Big Corn. Yet another reason to drink Mexican Coca-Cola, other than the fact that the corn sweetener tastes like crap.

Onion on GOP Reaction to Health Reform

Republicans, Leukemia Team Up To Repeal Health Care Law

April 8, 2010 | ISSUE 46•14

 

Key Republicans and the blood cancer leukemia make a joint statement condemning the health care bill.

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WASHINGTON—Citing a mutually shared vision of health care in America, congressional Republicans and the deadly bone-marrow cancer leukemia announced a joint effort Wednesday to repeal the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act, the historic new bill that extends health benefits to 32 million Americans nationwide.

"Republicans have no greater ally in this fight than leukemia," said Sen. Jim DeMint (R-SC), who was flanked by Sen. Mitch McConnell (R-KY), House Minority Leader John Boehner (R-OH), and the abnormal increase in white blood cells. "Denying insurance to Americans with preexisting conditions and ensuring that low-income Americans stand no chance of receiving quality health care are just a few of the core beliefs that the GOP and leukemia share."  [more]

We're Curing Cancer With Kittens...

This is a planned billboard attack that I never carried out. It was a little difficult to get to the billboard and the size of the alteration was pretty daunting. They changed the billboard after only a week or so also. The original said, "Cancer. We Kill it with Kindness." which I think is straight up stupid. If I have cancer I want that shit killed with radiation, drugs, and poisons. Don't fucking hug it. I did this mock up a little over a year ago: