Rand Paul Steps Into the Spotlight

Rambling

A few hours ago Sarah Palin announced she was resigning as Governor of Alaska. Since then it appears the mass media has decided to adopt the word "rambling" to describe her speech. Might I offer some other words? How about:

Babbling, whining. petulant, adolescent, confusing, paranoid, and/or incredibly long.

She is such a Republican, just spouting shit off the top of her head as if it were absolute fact. She has decided that her husband wasn't a member of a secessionist party so by god he wasn't... despite the fact that he was an active member of said party for seven years. Drilling for oil is a good thing because of her religious beliefs. Blather blather blather. But facts don't matter to Republicans. She mentions near the end of the first half (gods help us this speech went on longer than Governor Sanford's seemingly endless original apology for fucking around on his wife) that she and her oddly named husband are spending nearly a million dollars fighting lawsuits of some kind and that the other people "don't have to pay a dime." Since when can you go to court for free? Anyway, here is her speech in two halves. I listened and have been reaffirmed in my joy that this stupid bitch isn't the Vice President right now. If you can watch this whole thing... I'm sorry. It was excruciating to watch this stupid woman vomit nonsense for twenty minutes.

Toby Keith: "Let's Lynch Somebody"

I was watching the Colbert Report the other night and the guest was Toby Keith, a great big redneck with a Nashville music career. I've seen him before on some shows like Bill Maher and he's kind of a stupid ape cracker with a tendency to go bumper sticker sentimental on you.

Anyway, Colbert gave him a pretty softball interview and then let him play a song. I turned it off because it was fucking awful. Apparently I should've paid closer attention. Check out these lyrics:

Well a man come on the 6 o'clock news
said somebody's been shot
somebody's been abused
somebody blew up a building
somebody stole a car
somebody got away
somebody didn't get too far yeah
they didn't get too far

Grandpappy told my pappy back in my day, son
A man had to answer for the wicked that he'd done
Take all the rope in Texas
Find a tall oak tree, round up all of them bad boys
Hang them high in the street
For all the people to see

That Justice is the one thing you should always find
You got to saddle up your boys
You got to draw a hard line
When the gun smoke settles we'll sing a victory tune
And we'll all meet back at the local saloon
And we'll raise up our glasses against evil forces singing
whiskey for my men, beer for my horses

We got too many gangsters doing dirty deeds
too much corruption and crime in the streets
It's time the long arm of the law put a few more in the ground
Send 'em all to their maker and he'll settle 'em down
You can bet he'll set 'em down...

WEEHOOO!!! Let's kill those mothers! Let's "round up those bad boys." Yeehaw!!! Let's kill niggers!

Oh. It got awfully quiet. There's no way that all-American Toby Keith could have been thinking about black men when he was talking about bad... boys. Nah, nobody would think of the most recent examples of people being strung up by mobs in Texas...