Dear Governor Sanford,

Fuck you, you hypocritical, right wing, piece of shit. Where the fuck do you get off comparing yourself to King David?!? You're not even up to the level of Pontius Pilot you worthless scumbag. If you were alive in the days the Old Testament mythologizes you would not be mentioned. The State you rule wouldn't be mentioned. Your descendants nor your ancestors would get a stroke of ink. You are only slightly above NOBODY in American politics so don't even for a second seek to equivocate yourself with a BIBLICAL KING! Maybe if you weren't such a self centered prick you wouldn't have fucked around on your wife. Admittedly she deserves being fucked around on for being stupid enough to buy into the right wing worldview but you, Sanford, you're below contempt. Shitting on you would be a waste of good shitting.

Weren't you one of the conservative shit-heels screaming most loudly for Clinton's impeachment? For getting a blowjob? Not for lying about his whereabouts and repeatedly leaving the country (basically abandoning his elected position) to fuck a mistress as you did, but for getting a BJ from a pretty young thing (tip o' the hat to Michael Jackson) and trying to cover it up? You have abdicated your position as governor for some pussy in Argentina and you think you should remain governor because King David went through some shit you somehow force to resemble your fuckups? You're not only a piece of shit, you're a worthless piece of shit.

And who is it that shouts loudest in support of the Defense of Marriage Act? Claiming gays getting married would ruin the "sanctity of marriage?" That would be you, asswipe. You who proves to the world that uptight, rightwing, conservative hypocrites are bound to do exactly what they condemn the rest of us for doing.

In closing, Mr. Sanford, I'm looking forward to seeing your ass booted out of office and your house. Even as I type this news is coming in of other trysts with other women and the fact that you "withheld" (i.e. lied) the extent of the affair you just confessed to. Yeah, fuck you, buddy.