Cartoons

I'm a cartoon junkie. There, I've admitted it. The "funny pages" were what I always read first in a newspaper, followed by the editorial cartoons.

When I was a teenager I drew hundreds of cartoons with topics varying from a long "running" strip based on the Super Glue ads of the late 70's/early 80's called Super Goop to cartoons lampooning my friends and teachers. While at Tulane I drew a couple of cartoons for the school newspaper, The Hullabaloo, and I've even found one page of a cartoon I started in 1988 or '89 called The Adventures of Roach Man. That last one's kind of disturbing. The one page I have shows the birth of Roach Man caused when the radioactive spunk of a disgustingly fat janitor from the Nuclear plant (the seed spilled from a handjob from an underaged whore) lands on a roach who mutates into a human super hero. He was kind of a lame super hero as he was always running away from the lights, but I digress.

The internet has allowed my addiction to blossom into a daily routine with my morning coffee, the computer, and over a hundred comic strips, editorial cartoons, and animations. I get an e-mail from Mycomicspage.com every day that I actually pay for. Here's a list of these cartoons:

Doonesbury		Baldo		Andy Capp
Bloom County		Calvin and Hobbes		For Better or For Worse
Red Meat		Strange Brew		Tank McNamara
Tom the Dancing Bug		Wizard of Id		9 to 5
Ballard Street		The Duplex		Stone Soup
Chip Bok		Stuart Carlson		Jeff Danziger
Matt Davies		Kerry Waghorn		Chan Lowe
Mike Luckovich		Glenn McCoy		Jack Ohman
Pat Oliphant		Ted Rall		Steve Sack
Ben Sargent		Wayne Stayskal		Paul Szep
Gary Varvel		Don Wright		Non Sequitur
FoxTrot Classics

And after that I open all these cartoons in separate tabs in Firefox and read them. It is like having the daily cartoon paper I always dreamed of:

Mark Fiore's Animated Political Cartoons!

Homestar Runner

Beetle Bailey
Bizarro
Blondie
Buckles
Cats with Hands
Crock
Curtis
Grin and Bear It
Hagar the Horrible
Hi and Lois
Loose Parts
On the FastTrack
Safe Havens
Pardon My Planet
Piranha
Reality Check
Rhymes with Orange
Rubes
Shermans Lagoon
Speed Bump
Zippy the Pinhead
Zits

The unfeasible adventures of Beaver and Steve!

Rob and Elliot: A webcomic updated Mondays and Fridays

Pearls Before Swine

Funky Winkerbean

Crankshaft

white ninja comics

Sinfest

idiotbox

Baby Blues

Rudy Park

Dilbert

Drabble

Penny Arcade!

days o thunder

Editorial Cartoons

Harper's Magazine

vince ofarrell

PvPonline.com

Sluggy Freelance

get fuzzy

Weird Adventures in Unemployment: Weird Beginnings Part Fifteen

BEAR & KITTEN -- Updates Sundays and Wednesdays

I Hate Cops

I hope where you live the cops aren't the worthless sons of bitches they are here in Louisville. I could tell endless stories of their shitfuck behavior but I'll just tell you about how my day started off today.

I went to pick up my helper for the drive out to Prospect (I think it's about 20 miles away) and, like every day, I pulled up across the street from his house, in a No Parking zone and waited for him to come out. A cop pulled up behind me and wrote me a ticket. He was brusque and simply ordered me to move after giving me the ticket. So I went down the street, turned around, and parked on the other side of the street. When I looked at the ticket I saw he had circled "No Stopping." He was writing another ticket for a car that was parked (as opposed to standing as I was doing) so I walked up to him and said, "Excuse me, sir, did you mean to circle 'no stopping' on the ticket because the sign says 'no parking.?'" Guess what his answer was? Well, it wasn't anything nice. What he said was, "OK, I'll write you a State citation." He ticketed me for having out of state plates (I just bought the van from my cousin in Tennessee) as well as being in a "No Parking" zone. Fucking asshole.

It really sucks that the only people Louisville seems to be able to find to be cops are thugs and bullies just looking for a fight. Now I have to waste my time going to court because of this stupid fucker and I'm pretty sure I'll get off. I have pictures of his car next to the "No Parking" sign and I'm well aware that you are allowed to stand in a no parking zone.

Someone explain to me why I should respect these people. Because they've got a badge? Mall cops have badges too. Louisville cops are the worst I've ever encountered. The attitude is "I AM THE LAW!" The attitude is almost exactly the same as that of the deputized Eric Cartman in the cartoon South Park, especially in the case of my cop today (I believe his name is Ryan. His badge number is 2780). He wrote me the extra citations because I didn't respect his authority (pronounced "uh-thor-ih-thai"). I have a feeling if he'd been down by my other house in the "black" area downtown he would've beaten me for questioning him.

The culture in this police department is historically thuggish. I have heard many stories from long-time Louisvillians that, though shocking, would not seem unusual today. In most cities these events would have resulted in firings and demotions. Here nothing happens.

I have no doubt that despite my filing an official complaint against this officer tomorrow that nothing will ever happen to him. He appeared to be in his late 40's and I'm sure he's been being a dick for years with no punishment other than having to drive around giving parking tickets in school zones.

What the hell is wrong with this country that we deserve public servants like him?

Beck and Scientology

I was going to write a long rant about banks just because I was ranting about it out loud yesterday but I'd rather point you at Gotcha Capitalism. I forgot to deposit a check a few weeks back and my account went overdrawn for maybe twelve hours. On the same day that the bank credited the check to my account the bank hit me for three "NFS Item Paid" fees... one second before they credited my account. Now you tell me, why would they do this? Because it's the main way they make their insane profits. This is a direct result of deregulation and deregulation is never for the long term good of the people. It hurts the poor the most and benefits the rich the most. It makes the most profit for the greedy SOBs that run this shithole country. Sorry. I don't usually feel like that. Only for a few seconds at a time. I blame Republicanism for my momentary flashes of homeland-loathing.

I didn't publish a rant about banks (that was just a cough) because I got distracted by this little thing about Beck. Scientology* is almost as big a bummer as Republicanism. Creepier no matter how you look at it.

And now the thought comes to me... does the fact that this blog (which, as far as I know, is read only by a close friend) mentions Scientology in a less than favorable light, does this mean that the cult members, millions of them, will be prevented from viewing my blog and therefore I will automatically have a vast negative readership? Just a thought.

*When I was Googling for a Scientology image I tried to open a picture of Tom Cruise and Firefox recognized it as other than a normal .jpg and opened a warning window. Crazy.

The News

I remember the way the television news was back in the 70's and early 80's and I still marvel at the stupidity of the news producers. Someone in the upper echelons (one of the early graduates with a "marketing" degree, I'd venture) said, "Young kids aren't watching! They're the most important group! Let's make news vapid and sensationalistic!" First to go was international news, followed by in depth reporting on politics and judicial matters, leaving celebrities, politicians (as celebrities), disasters, and potential disasters with some "feel good" bullshit thrown in for the girls.

Surprise! Viewers began turning off the news in droves. Why? Because television news stopped showing what people that watch the news want to see. What were the programmers' responses? To hire younger anchors, show some leg, spend more time on celebrities and potential disasters (is this two lane road going to kill your family? That story coming up...), and generally show even less actual news. Little surprise that most Americans couldn't find Iraq on a map with the names of countries filled in already. Little surprise that a fool and thief like our current President could get elected despite having failed at everything he'd ever done other than underhandedly win an election for governor in a State half full of drooling morons in cowboy hats.

To some degree the gap has been filled by NPR and the internet for those of us that are still interested in learning what's going on in the world. Unfortunately we now have Fox and other cable "news" which spouts an endless stream of right wing propaganda, nearly meaningless headlines, and utter drivel with no mandate to serve the public interest. We also have the radio talkshow hosts who follow no journalistic ethics whatsoever and fill the empty brains of the ignorant fools that believe their made up bullshit and outright lies. Somehow they are allowed to pollute our public airways with this incendiary hate speech because they label their shows as "entertainment." I personally feel that every radio station that has ever broadcast Rush Limbaugh should have their license yanked and their general manager(s) jailed for violating their contract with the public. Sadly, our current administration is much more concerned with an exposed pastie* or a glimpse of a butt cheek.

Thank goodness for the BBC and the CBC for continuing to hold up an example of actual news reporting. Their reporters will actually badger politicians that dodge their questions and they stand on the ground where things are happening and tell us about what is happening as opposed to showing sanctioned clips of video with explanations from the State Department. Perhaps someday television news will take a lesson and get back to work filling us in rather than trying to titillate or scare us. I wonder if the corporate masters will ever let them.

*Isn't it remarkable that an exposed breast with star shaped pastie could bring such staggering fines and outrage? Would it even be legal to show The Benny Hill Show or Laugh In on broadcast television these days?

RIP RAW

It was only a matter of time before time ran out for the one and only Robert Anton Wilson. Since I live in a cave and get my news by accident I only just discovered that the king of conspiracy-think died January the 11th, 2007. I had a wonderful couple of years while digesting all this man's works. Reading Wilson is somewhat like learning calculus or a new language and as I progressed through his books I found the world to be a different place. If you have not read any of his works I would suggest beginning with the Cosmic Trigger trilogy of books. If by the time you finish these you aren't seeing coincidental connections everywhere you're either stupid or dull.

Fun Links

Here are three sites I like to visit regularly:

1. Astronomy Picture of the Day.


I just love this site. The pictures are beautiful and the explanations are succinct. Something that never ceases to amaze me is the background to deep space pictures. Some shots of distant galaxies cover an area of the sky that is equivalent to holding a pencil at arm's length and then seeing what's behind the lead. In that tiny little section of the sky there are thousands of galaxies, each with billions of stars. If you can wrap your head around that kind of scale you're a better man than I. I am well aware that I can barely glimpse, as if my eyes fluttered for a moment while glancing around the corner in the dark, the unfathomable size of the universe.

2. Homestar Runner.


You'll just have to spend a few hours playing around in here. This site is consistently funny and has, at times, brought me to rib aching tears from laughing. They've made an introduction for beginners and there's a little button that'll give you a random selection. The "star" of the show is the character Strong Bad who has his own series where he answers e-mails. This site has been around since last century so be prepared to not have seen everything after several days of continuous cartoons.

3. Flickrvision


Unfortunately the guy that designed this site makes it really difficult to find out what he's doing. It appears that the site shows you pictures as they're being uploaded to flickr, pointing to the location on the earth where the uploader is (after a little watching I'm sure you'll see someone uploading pictures in, say, New York, that they took in Bali). This is one of the biggest time vampires I've run into in a very long time.

RPM Challenge

Again this year we (meaning I) have completed another IFPR album in a single month. Even with a week lost to replacing broken work trucks (yes, I got rid of two and bought one) I was just able to squeeze out nine tracks at around 40 minutes.

Why? you ask. Well, I did this last year and it was not only a great kick in the butt for my creativity, I got some great songs out of it. What spurred me to this is the RPM Challenge.

This is the challenge: record an album in 29 days, just because you can.

That’s 10 songs or 35 minutes of original material recorded during the month of February. Go ahead… put it to tape.

Hear what I did for a limited time at www.psychicreform.com/rpm08. In a couple of weeks I'll take down these high quality mp3s and replace them with a complete rip of the album as a single file at 112kbps so grab this while you can!