Michele Bachmann to Run For President? Break out the Champagne!

BBC Friday Comedy Podcast Quotes

You should listen to this podcast because it's funny and it's not from America and it'll make you smarter.

"Being thrown out of the tea party for being a racist is like being thrown out of the conservative party for drinking Pimms."

"When Shakespeare invented words it was on purpose."

The Onion Purchased by China

Onion Headlines this week:

The Following Are Examples Of American Weakness

Politics

• Weakling President Asks Imaginary Man In Sky To Bless Nation
  54 minutes ago

  WASHINGTON—In a display of weakness unbecoming a head of state, President Barack Obama concluded remarks to the nation Tuesday by asking a......more»

• Infographic »

  The Following Are Examples Of American Weakness
  10 minutes ago

  ...more»

Local

• Collapsed Mine Used As Excuse To Stall Coal Extraction
  4 minutes ago

  CASSVILLE, WV—Although rescue workers have cleared a path wide enough for coal to be extracted through, and miners trapped inside are not so......more»

• Community Calendar »

  July 23, 9 p.m.

  St. Rose of Lima's annual potluck dinner will take place in the church basement on Sunday at 5 p.m. Attendees with last names beginning with A-M are asked to bring a fish-based main dish, while those with last names beginning with N-Z are asked to bring a fish-based dessert or appetizer.

Entertainment

• Paul Reiser, Benevolent Possessor Of Many American Hearts, Looking To Direct
  2 hours ago

  HOLLYWOOD, CA—Paul Reiser, situation comedy megastar, celebrity legend, and beloved creator of laughter, brought much joy to his tens of......more»

• TV Listings »

  House Committee On Foreign Affairs

  C-SPAN

  11 a.m. EDT/10 a.m. CDT

  Distracted by the tones of their own loud voices, reckless American imperialists natter away arrogantly while their once-mighty nation decays beneath their noses.

• Horoscopes »

  

  Taurus Apr 20 - May 20

  Nature, time, and patience are the three great physicians. Still, it might be time to consult Dr. Feldman about the grapefruit-sized growth hanging from the side of your throat.

Science & Technology

• Nation Exhibits Strange Preoccupation With Manner In Which Food Is Processed
  26 minutes ago

  NEW YORK—For reasons too difficult to comprehend, the unnecessarily fretful and anxious nation of United States continues its odd obsession......more»

No Such Thing

Sony Releases Piece of Shit That Doesn't Fucking Work

Steven!

This comes from the BBC's Adam & Joe show podcast and cracks me up. I really think "STEVEN!" needs to be introduced to the US. Just remember, if you hear someone shout, "STEVEN!" you need to respond, "just coming." This happened to me in the store just the other day as some child's mother shouted, "Steven!" to which I responded, "Just coming." The look of terror in her eyes was priceless.

When they get to the book called "Say it with Snails" I get so tickled my eyes tear up.

Wunder Boner

via

Still More Shoes and Stuff

from here

The Shepherd?

Friday Night Comedy from BBC Radio 4

Quotes from BBC Friday Comedy News Quiz

"If we could be allowed to drop our tone of cynicism for a moment, it's bloody marvelous Obama's been elected, isn't it?"

"When Obama said that John McCain had endured things that most of us could not begin to imagine I immediately thought of brunch with the Palins."

"Every president has had an idiot brother, except for Bush who turned out to be the idiot brother."

"No one dared to believe that Americans would put aside their prejudices and elect a president with a brain."

Vote McCain, He's Just Like W Except Older With a Worse Temper

See more Hayden Panettiere videos at Funny or Die

Banksta Please!

www.sinfest.net

Speaking The Truth

Why is it that only a satirical news program on a cable comedy network has the balls to show these people repeating their lies (or contradicting themselves within hours as McCain did earlier this week)?

Some Quotes from BBC's Mock the Week

Mock the Week

[on Palin]

"She's definitely going to be President, isn't she? Because he's 72. He's the first President ever who could be assassinated by someone busting a paper bag."

"Being the Governor of Alaska is the equivalent of being the mayor of the Shetlands."

"If we were all married to who we went out with when we were 17, how shit would our lives be?"


[on the Large Hadron Collider]

"I'm sure they're going to find out some interesting things about protons but... I don't give a fuck."

"Small black holes are the worst kind: We'll all be slowly sucked towards Switzerland."


[on a ludicrously expensive watch bought by a footballer]

"For 36,000 pounds your watch had better come with a lot of gadgets. I, for instance, would want to be able to drive it."

Bill O'Reilly: Piece of Shit from Way Back [analysis]

Keith Olbermann brings on a "body language expert" to examine Bill O'Reilly's blow-up.




Found on the Huffington Post.